Yesterday was one of the most exhilarating, nerve-wracking, and ultimately affirming days of my life. I came out as a transgender woman at work. It’s a moment I had been building toward for two years, ever since I started my medical transition. While I had come out to my friends and family over a year ago, I stayed closeted in my workplace. The construction industry isn’t exactly known for being the most welcoming environment for transgender people, and I needed time to gauge my coworkers’ attitudes and determine whether I would be safe and respected.
When I finally told them yesterday, the response was overwhelmingly supportive. It was a massive weight off my shoulders, a milestone that I had long anticipated. But despite my elation, I knew this wasn’t the end of my journey—far from it.
For many transgender individuals, coming out is often seen as the finish line, the moment when we step into the light and fully embrace our authentic selves. But the reality is far more complex. Coming out is only one step in the long process of self-discovery, growth, and transition. It doesn’t mean that all struggles disappear or that we automatically feel comfortable in every aspect of our lives. Instead, it marks the beginning of a new chapter—one filled with both triumphs and challenges.
The Journey Doesn’t Stop at Coming Out
Coming out is an enormous accomplishment, but transition is an ongoing process. Even now, after finally telling my coworkers, I still have personal and societal hurdles to overcome.
One of the biggest obstacles I still face is my discomfort with public restrooms. Despite my medical transition and the progress I’ve made in my appearance, I don’t feel like I pass well enough to use the women’s restroom without fear of confrontation. It’s not about whether I have the right to be there—I know I do—but about my own comfort and the unfortunate reality of today’s political climate. With anti-trans rhetoric gaining traction in the United States, using public restrooms can feel like a battle I’m not yet ready to fight.
At work and in public spaces, I still use the men’s restroom. It’s not where I want to be, but it’s where I feel safest for now. I know that some may see this as a setback, but it’s important to acknowledge that transition is not about meeting anyone else’s expectations—it’s about doing what feels right for you in your own time. Just because I came out yesterday doesn’t mean I’m suddenly immune to the fears and realities of being transgender in today’s world.
Growth Beyond the Moment of Coming Out
Coming out doesn’t mean that I no longer have work to do. In fact, it opens the door to new areas of growth. Some of the things I’m still working on include:
Voice Training
My voice has been one of the biggest struggles in my transition. While HRT (hormone replacement therapy) has worked wonders for my body, it hasn’t affected my voice. I’ve been training my voice for over a year now, but I still have moments of doubt. Some days, I feel like I’ve made incredible progress; other days, I worry that I’ll never sound the way I want.
Now that I’ve come out at work, I feel an even greater motivation to continue voice training. Speaking with confidence is something I want to achieve, and while I know it will take time, I remind myself that progress isn’t always linear.
Gender-Affirming Surgeries
Medical transition is deeply personal, and every transgender person’s journey looks different. For me, gender-affirming surgeries are part of the future I envision for myself. While coming out at work was a major milestone, I know that I still have procedures ahead of me—ones that will help me feel more aligned with my body.
Surgery is not just about looking a certain way; it’s about feeling at home in your own skin. It’s about walking through the world with less fear and more confidence. Just because I’ve made a significant step in my transition doesn’t mean I’m done growing or evolving.
Understanding the Mindset of Self-Paced Transition
There’s a lot of pressure in the transgender community, often from within, to “fully transition” as quickly as possible. But the truth is, transition isn’t a race. It’s a deeply personal journey, and everyone’s timeline looks different.
I know that some people might question why I’m still using the men’s restroom or why I’m not yet where they think I should be in my transition. But my choices are based on my comfort, my safety, and what feels right for me at this stage in my journey. It’s okay to take things one step at a time.
For those who are still closeted or struggling with coming out, I want you to know that there is no shame in taking your time. You don’t owe anyone a timeline, and you don’t have to rush into anything before you’re ready. Transition is about becoming who you are, at your own pace and on your own terms.
Navigating a World That Still Fights Against Us
As transgender people, we are constantly navigating a world that isn’t always welcoming. The recent wave of anti-trans legislation and rhetoric in the United States has made it even more challenging for many of us to feel safe and accepted. While my coworkers were supportive, I know that not every transgender person has that same experience.
For those who are in industries or environments where coming out could put their job or safety at risk, I want to emphasize that your safety and well-being come first. You are not any less valid because you haven’t come out yet. You are still you, no matter where you are in your journey.
At the same time, I want to acknowledge the incredible resilience of our community. We continue to push forward despite the obstacles, and every step we take toward living authentically is an act of courage. Whether it’s coming out at work, using the restroom that aligns with your identity, or simply finding the strength to get through another day—we are all on a path toward self-acceptance, and every milestone matters.
The Bottom Line
Yesterday, I took a big step in my transition. I came out to my coworkers, and I was met with affirmation and support. But I know that this isn’t the end of my journey—it’s just another chapter. Transition isn’t about one single moment; it’s about continuous growth, self-discovery, and resilience.
For those who are still closeted, for those who are struggling with where they are in their journey, and for those who feel like they should be further along—know that you are not alone. Transition is not a straight path, and there is no “right” way to do it. It’s okay to take your time. It’s okay to still have fears and uncertainties. And it’s okay to celebrate how far you’ve come, even if you still have a long way to go.
We are all on this journey together. And no matter where you are in yours, you are valid, you are seen, and you are loved.
