Consistency: it’s a word that gets tossed around every New Year’s Eve like confetti. When the calendar flips, we’re bombarded with resolution talk—whether it’s hitting the gym more often, saving money, eating better, or dedicating more time to family and friends. As 2025 arrives, the world is abuzz with excitement and the promise of fresh starts. Yet, for transgender individuals and those who love and support us, the idea of consistency goes beyond the usual list of resolutions. It can become a beacon of hope and a source of stability in a world that often feels uncertain.
Before we go any further, let’s make one thing clear: this article isn’t intended to be exclusively for transgender individuals. Consistency, dedication, and self-love are concepts that help all kinds of people, regardless of gender identity or life circumstances. However, many of us in the transgender community do face unique struggles—issues that cisgender folks may not fully understand or may have never considered deeply. That doesn’t mean we’re perpetual victims. It simply means we have challenges that might require a bit more empathy, creativity, and solidarity from ourselves and from those around us.
I’m a transgender woman, and in my former life, I was a competitive bodybuilder and a fitness coach. Over the years, many people in my circle—friends, family, colleagues—have commented on my dedication. They see me regularly at the gym or diligently working on a writing project or consistently checking in on loved ones. What often gets overlooked is that my so-called “dedication” isn’t superhuman. It’s not even something that requires extraordinary skill. It’s the result of simple decisions, repeated over and over—small acts of kindness to myself and others, little moments of accountability, daily efforts to keep my life on track and my mind at peace.
That’s the magic of consistency. When done in a positive way, it can keep us going through life’s ups and downs—whether we’re navigating the complexities of gender transition, focusing on mental and physical health, or chasing big dreams in a world that sometimes seems determined to stand in our way. But just as positive consistency can be life-changing, negative consistency can hold us back. If we’re constantly telling ourselves “I can’t,” “I’m not worthy,” or “This isn’t for me,” we train our minds to accept defeat before we even begin.
In the sections that follow, we’ll explore the concept of creating and maintaining consistency in all areas of life. We’ll talk about why consistency matters, how to set it in motion, and how to ensure it stays positive. We’ll also dive into the unique obstacles transgender individuals face and how families and allies can help us cultivate supportive, consistent environments. By the end of this article—yes, even a 2,000-word one—my hope is that you’ll walk away with actionable tips and a renewed sense of purpose. Because no matter who you are or what your journey looks like, you deserve a life that’s stable, fulfilling, and brimming with possibility.
Understanding Consistency: A Powerful Habit
So, what exactly is consistency? At its core, consistency is the act of repeating the same behavior or principle over time. In many ways, it’s the backbone of habits. Good habits allow us to make better decisions without constantly having to rely on fleeting bursts of motivation or willpower.
- Positive Consistency might look like going for a daily walk to support your mental health, scheduling regular therapy sessions, setting aside 20 minutes each night to read a self-improvement book, or making a point to share a kind word with someone in your community.
- Negative Consistency, on the other hand, could be that habit of doubting yourself every time a new opportunity arises, consistently criticizing your appearance in the mirror, or always assuming the worst in others.
The reason consistency holds so much power is that it shapes our identity. When you repeatedly do something—like showing up to the gym five days a week—you start to see yourself as someone who prioritizes physical wellbeing. When you consistently speak kindly to yourself, your internal dialogue shifts from self-criticism to self-acceptance. Conversely, if you consistently dwell on negative thoughts or allow others to dictate your worth, that negative script becomes your default setting. In essence, your life is heavily influenced by what you do repeatedly, whether that’s helpful or harmful.
A Personal Perspective: From Bodybuilding to Self-Discovery
When I was a competitive bodybuilder, consistency was everything. I had to follow a strict workout regimen, plan my meals down to the gram, and get enough rest to keep my muscles growing. This routine sometimes felt grueling, but it taught me a powerful lesson about perseverance. Did I always feel motivated to go to the gym at 6:00 AM? Absolutely not. Did I still do it? Yes, because I’d built a habit—a form of positive consistency that carried me through even on days when I didn’t feel my best.
That same lesson carries over into the more personal parts of my life, including my journey as a transgender woman. Transitioning didn’t happen overnight; it was a years-long process that required consistent effort—emotionally, mentally, physically, and socially. Sometimes I wanted to hide, skip therapy sessions, or avoid challenging conversations with my family. But by committing to the process, and showing up for myself consistently, I was able to move forward in a meaningful way.
Now, when people praise my dedication, what they might not see is that it’s less about some rare “champion’s mindset” and more about the small, daily choices that add up over time. Anyone can tap into that power. It’s just a matter of knowing what you want, and doing something daily—no matter how small—that nudges you closer to it. You don’t have to lift weights like a bodybuilder to build emotional or mental muscle.
Positive vs. Negative Consistency
While consistency is a game-changer, it’s important to note that consistency in and of itself isn’t automatically good. It’s a neutral tool that can build or break our future, depending on how we use it. That’s why it’s so important to differentiate between positive and negative consistency.
- Positive Consistency
- You set achievable goals aligned with your values (e.g., starting hormone therapy, pursuing a new career, cultivating a better relationship with food, or learning a new skill).
- You create a routine or schedule that encourages progress (e.g., blocking out a half-hour each morning for journaling, yoga, or planning your day).
- You monitor your self-talk and make an effort to be supportive and encouraging toward yourself.
- You recognize setbacks as temporary and use them as learning opportunities rather than reasons to quit.
- Negative Consistency
- You find yourself repeatedly telling the same harmful story (e.g., “I’ll never be happy,” “I can’t do this,” “No one will accept me”).
- You sabotage your own progress by indulging in behaviors that go against your values (e.g., isolating yourself or refusing to seek help when you need it).
- You may stick to a routine, but it’s one that drains your energy and self-confidence (e.g., daily doomscrolling through social media, focusing on negative news, or constantly comparing yourself to others).
- You give up easily when things get tough, reinforcing a belief that you’re not capable of growth.
Recognizing these two sides of the coin is a crucial step toward using consistency as a positive force. Rather than beating ourselves up when we identify negative patterns, we can gently shift our habits. Awareness is half the battle. Once we see where we’re stuck, we can begin to reshape our thoughts and behaviors.
Practical Steps for Building Positive Consistency
- Define Your “Why”
Why is consistency important to you? Do you want to improve your health? Strengthen your relationships? Foster self-love? Or perhaps you want to speak out on issues affecting the transgender community. Whatever it is, having a clear “why” will keep you anchored. Write it down and revisit it whenever you feel your motivation dip. - Break Down Your Goals
Big dreams are fantastic, but they can be overwhelming. Instead of saying, “I want to improve my mental health in 2025,” break that down into small, manageable tasks like “I will journal for five minutes each morning,” or “I will set an alarm for 9 PM to remind myself to do a quick gratitude list.” - Create a Routine You Love
Consistency thrives when you actually enjoy your routine. If you loathe running, don’t force yourself to jog every day—maybe you’ll love dancing, swimming, or yoga instead. The same goes for mental or emotional tasks; if journaling by hand feels tedious, try a voice journal on your phone. Life is too short to stick with routines you dread. - Track Your Progress
Whether it’s a bullet journal, an app on your phone, or just a simple spreadsheet, keep track of your daily habits. Seeing those little checkmarks or data points can be incredibly motivating. It also helps you catch when you’re slipping into negative habits. - Find Accountability
Share your goals with someone you trust—a friend, family member, or therapist. You could also join a support group, especially one tailored for transgender individuals or allies. Accountability can provide that little extra push on days when you’d rather stay in bed. - Reward Yourself
Small rewards can go a long way in reinforcing positive behavior. Give yourself permission to celebrate milestones. This can be something as simple as indulging in your favorite dessert (in moderation, if health goals are part of the plan), buying a new book, or taking a relaxing bath with scented candles. - Practice Compassion
Consistency doesn’t mean perfection. There will be days when you miss a workout, forget to journal, or slip into negative self-talk. Instead of beating yourself up, acknowledge the hiccup, and get back on track the next day. Consistency is about what you do most of the time, not all the time. - Surround Yourself with Positivity
Curate your social media feeds to include voices that uplift and educate. Engage with communities that celebrate your identity. If certain spaces (online or offline) are filled with negativity, consider limiting your time there. Your environment can significantly impact how easy or difficult it is to maintain a consistent mindset.
Overcoming Unique Challenges: A Transgender Lens
While consistency is vital for everyone, transgender individuals often face hurdles that can make staying consistent more challenging. These might include gender dysphoria, societal stigma, difficulty accessing gender-affirming healthcare, or the emotional toll of explaining ourselves to people who don’t understand our journey.
- Emotional and Mental Health Support: Consistency in seeking therapy, whether it’s with a counselor specializing in gender identity or a support group, can be transformative. Regular check-ins with mental health professionals offer an anchor point amid the complexities of transition and daily life. Allies can help by offering rides to these appointments, giving reminders if asked, or simply checking in to ask how we’re doing.
- Building a Reliable Support System: Not everyone has a family that’s supportive. Friends and mentors can become your chosen family—people who love you for who you are and who want to see you thrive. Being consistent about reaching out when you need help and offering support in return creates a foundation of trust and care.
- Navigating Healthcare: Transgender healthcare can be unpredictable depending on where you live. Whether it’s for hormone replacement therapy, surgeries, or routine check-ups, consistency in managing appointments, following doctor’s orders, and staying informed about your options can help ensure better outcomes. Allies can be supportive here by offering assistance with scheduling and being an encouraging presence during tough times.
- Affirming Day-to-Day Habits: Consistent actions, like dressing in ways that affirm your gender identity, using correct pronouns for yourself, and surrounding yourself with affirming messages, can have a tremendous positive impact. These habits reinforce the belief that you are valid and deserving of respect.
Consistency Isn’t Just for Transgender Individuals
As emphasized, consistency is a universal concept. Families and allies reading this can also benefit from integrating positive consistency into their own lives. Are you making a consistent effort to learn about transgender experiences? Are you consistently using the correct name and pronouns for your loved one? Are you consistently checking your biases or educating yourself on current events affecting the LGBTQ+ community? Positive consistency goes both ways—it can drastically improve your relationships and create a more welcoming environment for everyone involved.
Moreover, consistent acts of empathy—like asking “How can I support you?” or “Would you like to talk?”—can help maintain open lines of communication. This is one area where many cisgender individuals might not realize their power. By persistently choosing empathy and respect, you contribute to an environment where transgender people can flourish without the added strain of feeling misunderstood, unwelcome, or invisible.
Tools and Resources for Building Consistency
- Habit Tracking Apps: Tools like Habitica, Strides, or Streaks can make tracking fun and motivating.
- Online Support Groups: Forums like Reddit’s r/transvitae or local Facebook groups can provide valuable camaraderie and accountability.
- Therapy & Counseling: Platforms like BetterHelp or Pride Counseling offer virtual sessions, which can be a lifesaver if in-person resources are limited where you live.
- Organizational Tools: Google Calendar, Trello, or Todoist can help you plan and schedule tasks so you don’t have to rely solely on memory or willpower.
- Community Centers: Many cities have LGBTQ+ community centers that provide counseling, job assistance, and safe social spaces. Consistently participating in these programs can boost your confidence and sense of belonging.
Setting Realistic Goals for 2025 and Beyond
We’re already well into 2025, and you might feel pressure to come up with lofty New Year’s resolutions if you haven’t done so already. But let’s be real: setting overly ambitious goals—like vowing to become a marathon runner by next month or changing all of your habits overnight—can lead to burnout and disappointment.
Instead, keep it simple:
- Start with One or Two Areas: Maybe you want to focus on physical fitness by committing to three workout sessions a week. Maybe your priority is mental health, and you’ll begin with one therapy appointment a month or a nightly meditation practice.
- Add Gradually: Once you’ve nailed those initial goals for a month or two, gradually introduce another habit you’d like to cultivate.
- Regular Check-Ins: Every week or month, take a moment to reflect. What’s working well? What’s not? Adjust accordingly.
Setting realistic goals also means acknowledging the inevitability of setbacks. Life happens—work stress, health issues, family drama. The important thing is not to let these setbacks derail your entire plan. Pivot, adjust, and keep moving forward.
Families, Friends, and Allies: Your Role in Consistency
To families and allies reading this: Your support can make a significant difference in helping transgender individuals maintain positive consistency. This doesn’t mean you need to become a life coach or completely rearrange your own schedule. Sometimes, simply offering to be a sounding board or providing positive affirmation is enough. Small gestures—like consistently using the right pronouns, remembering important dates (like surgery appointments or hormone injection schedules), or celebrating milestones—send a powerful message of love and acceptance.
Equally important is recognizing that transgender people are not monolithic. Each individual has unique needs, preferences, and boundaries. Consistency in asking, “Is this helpful?” or “How can I be supportive right now?” can prevent misunderstandings and foster deeper connections. It shows that your allyship is active, not just lip service.
Beyond Victimhood: Embracing Empowerment
By focusing on positivity, this article does not discount the very real struggles faced by transgender individuals. We know that discrimination, lack of understanding, and high rates of mental health challenges are part of the daily reality for many in our community. Yet, we also believe in personal agency—our ability to shape our future through consistent, constructive actions. We don’t want to be cast as perpetual victims; rather, we want to celebrate our resilience, our capacity for growth, and our power to create meaningful change in our own lives and in the world around us.
Here’s a crucial point: forging positive consistency doesn’t mean ignoring injustices or sweeping systemic issues under the rug. It does, however, mean that we recognize our strength to respond to these challenges in a way that honors our worth. We do that by consistently advocating for our needs, consistently staying informed about issues that affect us, and consistently supporting one another.
The Bottom Line
Consistency is the thread that weaves everything together—our dreams, relationships, mental health, physical well-being, and sense of self-worth. By choosing to show up for ourselves each day, whether it’s through small acts of kindness, structured routines, or the pursuit of our biggest goals, we plant seeds that can grow into a life of fulfillment and joy.
For transgender individuals, the stakes can feel particularly high. Our journeys often require us to reimagine how we see ourselves, how we interact with the world, and how we build supportive communities. Consistency—especially positive consistency—becomes a stabilizing force that keeps us going when life’s storms roll in.
Yet, remember that consistency isn’t exclusively about big accomplishments like acing your next job interview or completing a marathon. Sometimes, it’s about waking up each morning and choosing not to give in to negative self-talk. It’s about reaching out to a friend when you need help or offering support when they do. It’s about committing to love yourself in big and small ways, day after day.
If you’re feeling a spark of inspiration, use that energy to make just one small consistent change in your life this week. Maybe it’s writing down one thing you’re grateful for each night, or spending five minutes meditating before heading off to work or school. If you want to go bigger, create a plan for the next month—perhaps focusing on fitness, mental health, or social connections. The point is not to be perfect; it’s to keep going, no matter how many times you stumble.
To families, friends, and allies: Your consistent support is invaluable. Keep asking questions, educating yourselves, and showing love. Your actions—no matter how small—matter more than you might ever know. By consistently advocating for acceptance, understanding, and empathy, you help cultivate a world in which transgender individuals can thrive, not just survive.
As we continue through 2025 and beyond, let’s commit to being consistently better—better at loving ourselves, better at supporting one another, and better at recognizing our worth. Together, we can build a world where every transgender person, and every person in general, has the tools they need to succeed and the unwavering belief that they deserve to. After all, true change happens when consistent, positive actions align with a shared vision of hope and inclusivity.
You have the power to make consistency work for you. Whether you’re a transgender individual seeking to affirm your identity, a supportive family member longing to do right by your loved one, or an ally eager to uplift our community, the path is similar: consistent, positive steps forward. Embrace this journey. Revel in the small victories. And never forget that each and every day, you hold the opportunity to rewrite your story—and by extension, the world’s.
