When a documentary strikes at the heart of your own journey, it’s more than just a film—it’s a mirror. That was my experience rewatching Transformer—a captivating and deeply personal exploration of transformation, identity, and the extraordinary resilience of the human spirit. This documentary earns a well-deserved 4 out of 4 stars for its powerful storytelling, intimate cinematography, and its ability to speak directly to the transgender community, allies, and anyone seeking a deeper understanding of what it means to truly find oneself.
Rediscovering “Transformer”
As a long-time fan of Janae Marie Kroc, Transformer already held a special place in my heart. It was one of the first documentaries I watched long before starting my own transition, and it helped me realize that I was not alone in my struggles or aspirations. Recently, I stumbled upon one of Janae’s inspirational Instagram messages. Her words resonated deeply with me: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Motivated by her wisdom, I decided to rewatch the film, and this time, I saw it with fresh eyes and a newfound appreciation. I could now see so many parallels between Janae’s story and my own.
The Heart of the Documentary
Directed by Michael Del Monte, Transformer focuses entirely on the journey of Janae Marie Kroc, a former world champion powerlifter and bodybuilder, as she navigates the complexities of transitioning while maintaining relationships with her loved ones. Janea’s story is one of courage and vulnerability. As a public figure in the hyper-masculine world of professional bodybuilding, her decision to come out as transgender brought both admiration and criticism. But what truly sets this documentary apart is its intimate focus on the relationships that shape her life.
Janae’s bond with her three sons is at the heart of the film, showcasing the love, understanding, and challenges that come with navigating a parent’s transition. The documentary also delves into her relationship with her mother and father, highlighting the generational and personal struggles of acceptance and support. Additionally, her friendships—a vital support system—provide a nuanced view of how community can uplift and sustain a person during their most vulnerable moments.
Seeing Myself in Janea
Janae’s journey felt intensely personal to me, especially her relationship with bodybuilding. Like her, I was once a powerlifter and competitive bodybuilder. For years, I sculpted my body into a machine, pushing boundaries and achieving milestones I once thought impossible. When I began my transition, I assumed that my only path to femininity was through shedding the muscle that had defined me for so long. For two years, I fixated on downsizing, convinced that smaller meant more feminine. But it came at a cost—I lost not only muscle but also a part of myself.
Watching Transformer reminded me that femininity is not one-size-fits-all. Janae’s story inspired me to reevaluate my goals and return to the gym—not to fit anyone’s expectations but to create a body that feels authentic to me. The gym, once my sanctuary and home away from home, has become that again. Now, I’m sculpting a body that blends strength and grace in a way that’s uniquely mine. Like Janea, I’ve learned to embrace the paradoxes that make us who we are.
Representation Through Janea’s Lens
One of the greatest strengths of Transformer is its focus on Janae’s life and relationships. The film does not attempt to generalize the transgender experience but instead offers a deeply personal and specific account of her journey. By centering Janae, the documentary provides an authentic and relatable story that dismantles stereotypes and broadens the conversation about what it means to be transgender.
For many transgender individuals, representation is more than visibility—it’s validation. Seeing someone like Janae, who navigates both the hyper-masculine world of bodybuilding and the complexities of transitioning, is a reminder that there is no “right” way to be transgender. Her courage to live her truth on her terms is nothing short of revolutionary.
From a filmmaking perspective, Transformer excels in its use of intimate cinematography and raw interviews. The camera captures both the physicality and vulnerability of Janae’s life, immersing the audience in her journey. Whether it’s a close-up of Janae’s powerful lifts in the gym or a quiet moment of reflection with her sons, every frame feels purposeful.
Why This Film Matters
For transgender individuals, Transformer is more than a documentary—it’s a lifeline. It’s a reminder that we are not alone in our struggles and that our journeys, while unique, are part of a larger tapestry of courage and self-discovery. For allies and family members, it offers a window into the complexities of transitioning, fostering empathy and understanding.
The film’s release in 2018 came at a time when transgender visibility was beginning to grow, but acceptance still lagged far behind. In many ways, it’s even more relevant today, as the transgender community continues to face systemic challenges and societal pushback. Transformer stands as a testament to our strength and a call to action for greater inclusion and support.
Personal Reflections
Rewatching Transformer was an emotional experience for me. It reminded me of how far I’ve come in my own journey and how much further I have to go. Like Janae, I’ve faced criticism and self-doubt, but I’ve also found moments of profound joy and self-acceptance. The film reinforced the idea that our bodies are works of art, constantly evolving and reshaping as we grow into ourselves.
One of the most poignant moments in the documentary is when Janae reflects on her dual identities as a powerlifter and a transgender woman. She says, “I’m not trying to erase who I was. I’m trying to integrate who I was with who I’m becoming.” That line stayed with me. It’s a powerful reminder that our pasts don’t define us, but they do inform who we are and who we aspire to be.
The Bottom Line
Transformer is a must-watch for anyone seeking to understand the complexities of gender identity and the transformative power of self-acceptance. It’s a film that inspires, educates, and moves its audience to see the world—and themselves—through a more compassionate lens.
For me, the documentary is more than a story; it’s a reflection of my own journey and a reminder that there is strength in vulnerability. Janae’s courage to live authentically, despite the odds, is a beacon of hope for anyone who has ever felt out of place in their own skin.
As I step back into the gym, I carry the lessons of Transformer with me. I’m not chasing perfection; I’m celebrating progress. And in doing so, I’m reclaiming my sanctuary, my home away from home, and shaping a life that feels true to who I am.
Transformer is more than a documentary; it’s a movement. And for that, it earns every one of its 4 stars.
