Essential Undergarments for Trans Women and Men in Transition

Choosing the right undergarments is an essential step for anyone, but for transgender individuals in the early stages of their transition, it holds particular importance. Proper undergarments not only provide comfort but also enhance body shape and boost confidence. As a 55-year-old transgender woman who began hormone replacement therapy (HRT) just over a year ago, I understand the unique challenges faced by those beginning this journey. This guide aims to help transgender men and women select undergarments that fit their body types and preferences, ensuring both comfort and shape.

Understanding Your Body Type

Before diving into specific undergarments, it’s important to understand your body type. Knowing your body shape will help you choose the styles and sizes that offer the best fit and comfort. This knowledge is crucial for both trans women and trans men, as it guides the selection of undergarments that enhance your natural form and provide the desired look.

For Trans Women

Trans women often seek undergarments that enhance feminine curves while providing support. Understanding your body shape can help you choose bras and panties that flatter your figure and feel comfortable.

Apple Shape

Characteristics: An apple-shaped body has a broader upper body, including the shoulders and bust, with narrower hips. Weight is often carried around the midsection.

Undergarment Tips:

• Bras: Look for bras with wider bands and side panels for extra support around the bust and midsection. Full-coverage bras and minimizer bras can help distribute weight more evenly.
• Panties: Choose panties with a high waist to provide support and smooth the tummy area. High-waisted briefs or shapewear can help create a more balanced silhouette.

Pear Shape

Characteristics: A pear-shaped body has wider hips and thighs with a smaller bust and narrow shoulders. Weight is predominantly carried in the lower body.

Undergarment Tips:

• Bras: Padded and push-up bras can enhance the bust and create a more balanced look. Consider bras with decorative elements or detailing to draw attention upwards.
• Panties: Look for styles that provide coverage and comfort around the hips and thighs, such as boyshorts, hipsters, or high-cut briefs. Avoid tight elastic bands that can dig into the hips.

Hourglass Shape

Characteristics: An hourglass-shaped body has a balanced bust and hips with a defined waist. This shape is often considered ideal for feminine curves.

Undergarment Tips:

• Bras: Almost any bra style works well, but balconette and plunge bras can accentuate the natural curves of the bust. Ensure a proper fit to highlight the waist without discomfort.
• Panties: Opt for styles that highlight the waist, such as high-waisted briefs, bikinis, or thongs. Shapewear can enhance curves for special occasions.

Rectangle Shape

Characteristics: A rectangle-shaped body has uniform measurements across the bust, waist, and hips, with little definition between them.

Undergarment Tips:

• Bras: Push-up and padded bras can create the illusion of curves. Look for bras with added structure, such as underwire or molded cups.
• Panties: Choose styles that add curves to the hips, such as boyshorts or panties with lace and ruffles. High-waisted briefs can also create a more defined waist.

For Trans Men

Trans men typically look for undergarments that provide a masculine silhouette. Understanding your body shape can help you choose binders and underwear that fit well and enhance your desired appearance.

Inverted Triangle Shape

Characteristics: An inverted triangle-shaped body has broad shoulders and a narrower waist and hips. This shape often includes a prominent chest and back.

Undergarment Tips:

• Binders: Full-length binders can provide compression across the chest and torso, creating a more streamlined look. Look for binders with strong support and breathable fabric.
• Underwear: Boxer briefs and trunks can add volume to the lower body, balancing broader shoulders. Choose styles with a wider waistband for comfort.

Rectangle Shape

Characteristics: A rectangle-shaped body has uniform measurements across the shoulders, waist, and hips, creating a straight silhouette.

Undergarment Tips:

• Binders: Half-length binders are effective for chest compression without adding bulk to the waist. Look for adjustable and breathable options.
• Underwear: Briefs, trunks, and boxer briefs can all work well. Choose styles that are snug but not tight, ensuring comfort and freedom of movement.

Oval Shape

Characteristics: An oval-shaped body has a fuller midsection with less definition at the waist. Shoulders and hips may be narrower in comparison to the waist.

Undergarment Tips:

• Binders: Look for binders that provide even compression and support around the torso. Full-length binders with reinforced panels can help smooth the midsection.
• Underwear: Boxer briefs and trunks with a high-rise waistband can provide support and comfort for a fuller midsection. Avoid tight elastic bands that can dig into the skin.

Understanding your body shape is the first step towards finding the right undergarments that will enhance your natural form and provide the desired look. Whether you are a trans woman seeking feminine curves or a trans man aiming for a masculine silhouette, selecting the appropriate undergarments is essential for comfort and confidence. Remember to explore various brands and styles to find what works best for your unique body and preferences.

Undergarments for Trans Women

Choosing the right undergarments is essential for trans women, especially during the early stages of transition. Proper bras and panties not only provide comfort but also enhance body shape, helping to create a feminine silhouette that boosts confidence and self-esteem. Below is a detailed guide on selecting bras and panties, along with information on tucking garments.

Bras

Selecting the right bra can make a significant difference in both comfort and appearance. Here are some options and additional details to help you choose:

Training Bras

Ideal for those early in HRT or pre-HRT, training bras offer light support and comfort without overwhelming your frame. They are particularly suitable for individuals whose breast tissue is just beginning to develop.

• Comfort: Soft fabrics and minimal padding make training bras comfortable for all-day wear.
• Support: Provides gentle support to nascent breast tissue, preventing discomfort.
• Where to Buy: Brands like Aerie and Hanes offer affordable options available online and in-store, making them easily accessible.

Padded Bras

Padded bras enhance the appearance of a fuller bust, which can be particularly beneficial for those seeking to create a more pronounced feminine shape. These bras come with varying levels of padding to suit different needs.

• Adjustability: Look for bras with adjustable straps and band sizes to ensure a perfect fit.
• Variety: Available in multiple styles, including push-up, plunge, and balconette, each offering different levels of lift and shape.
• Where to Buy: Victoria’s Secret and ThirdLove provide a wide range of styles, catering to diverse preferences and body types.

Underwire Bras

Underwire bras offer strong support and shaping, making them ideal for larger bust sizes. The underwire helps lift and separate the breasts, creating a defined and flattering silhouette.

• Support: Essential for larger busts, underwire bras prevent sagging and provide enhanced shape.
• Comfort: Ensure the underwire rests comfortably against the chest without digging in.
• Where to Buy: Available at Macy’s and Nordstrom, which offer professional fitting services to help you find the right size.

Bralettes

Bralettes are a comfortable option for everyday wear, especially for those with smaller busts. They offer light support without the constriction of underwires.

• Style: Often designed with lace or soft fabrics, making them stylish as well as comfortable.
• Support: Provides light support, ideal for casual or lounge wear.
• Where to Buy: Lively and Calvin Klein have stylish and comfortable bralettes suitable for various occasions.

Sports Bras

Sports bras are perfect for physical activity, providing maximum support and minimizing movement. They are designed to reduce breast movement during exercise, preventing discomfort and potential tissue damage.

• Support: High-impact sports bras offer the most support, ideal for rigorous activities.
• Comfort: Look for moisture-wicking fabrics to keep you dry and comfortable during workouts.
• Where to Buy: Nike and Under Armour offer excellent sports bras both online and offline, catering to a range of sizes and support levels.

Panties

Comfortable and well-fitting panties are essential for daily wear. Here are some popular styles and where you can find them:

Briefs

Briefs offer full coverage and are comfortable for everyday wear. They provide support and coverage without sacrificing style.

• Fabric: Look for breathable fabrics like cotton to ensure comfort throughout the day.
• Coverage: Provides ample coverage, making them ideal for various body shapes.
• Where to Buy: Available at Target and Jockey, which offer a wide range of sizes and styles.

Hipsters

Hipsters sit lower on the hips and provide moderate coverage, combining comfort and style. They are a versatile choice suitable for various outfits.

• Style: Combines the coverage of briefs with the lower rise of bikinis.
• Comfort: Ideal for everyday wear, offering a balance of coverage and style.
• Where to Buy: Found at Gap and Soma, which provide various styles and materials.

Boyshorts

Boyshorts provide full coverage with a longer leg, making them ideal for smoothing out the hip area. They offer a blend of comfort and modesty.

• Coverage: Offers full coverage for the hips and buttocks, ideal for smoothing lines.
• Comfort: The longer leg prevents chafing and provides a secure fit.
• Where to Buy: Hanky Panky and Aerie offer great options, available in multiple fabrics and designs.

Thongs

Thongs provide minimal coverage, making them best for avoiding visible panty lines under tight clothing. They are ideal for wearing with form-fitting dresses and skirts.

• Minimal Coverage: Reduces the risk of visible lines, providing a seamless look.
• Comfort: Ensure the waistband is comfortable and doesn’t dig into the skin.
• Where to Buy: Available at Victoria’s Secret and La Senza, which offer a variety of styles and materials.

Shapewear

Shapewear helps create a smoother silhouette, particularly under formal or tight-fitting clothing. It provides additional support and shape control.

• Support: Offers varying levels of compression, from light to firm.
• Comfort: Ensure shapewear is not too tight to avoid discomfort and potential health issues.
• Where to Buy: Spanx and Skims are popular choices, available in multiple styles and compression levels.

Tucking

For a smoother front appearance, some trans women choose to tuck. Tucking panties or gaffs are designed specifically for this purpose, providing security and comfort.

• Fit: Ensure they fit snugly but comfortably, allowing for all-day wear without irritation.
• Styles: Available in different styles to suit various preferences and levels of compression.
• Where to Buy: Brands like Origami Customs and En Femme offer specialized tucking garments that can be purchased online.

Choosing the right undergarments is a significant step in the transition journey for trans women. It involves understanding your body type, selecting appropriate styles, and ensuring proper sizing and fit. By prioritizing comfort and shape, you can enhance your confidence and overall well-being. Whether you’re shopping online or in-store, many retailers offer a wide range of options to cater to your unique needs. Remember, the right undergarments can make a world of difference in how you feel and present yourself every day.

Undergarments for Trans Men

Binders

Chest binders are essential garments for trans men, helping to create a flatter chest appearance and providing a more traditionally masculine silhouette. Selecting the right binder involves several considerations to ensure both comfort and safety.

Material

The material of the binder significantly impacts comfort, especially if you plan to wear it for extended periods:

• Breathability: Choose binders made from breathable materials, such as cotton blends. These materials help prevent overheating and skin irritation.
• Stretch and Support: Look for materials that offer a balance of stretch and support. Spandex blends often provide the necessary compression while allowing for some flexibility and movement.

Styles

Different binder styles cater to various needs and preferences:

• Full-Length Binders: These extend down to the hips, providing compression for the chest and torso. They are ideal for those who prefer a smoother line under their clothing.
• Half-Length Binders: These cover only the chest area and are often more comfortable in hotter weather or for those who prefer less torso compression.

Safety

Binder safety is paramount to avoiding health complications:

• Time Limits: Avoid wearing binders for more than 8-10 hours a day. Extended wear can cause tissue damage and restrict breathing.
• Breaks: Take breaks from binding whenever possible. If you need to bind daily, try to have binder-free days to allow your body to rest.
• Avoid Sleeping in Binders: Always remove your binder before sleeping to prevent restricted breathing and circulation issues.

Boxers and Briefs

The right underwear can greatly enhance comfort and confidence for trans men. Here’s a breakdown of the options available:

Boxer Briefs

• Description: Offer the support and coverage of briefs with the longer leg of boxers. They provide excellent comfort for everyday wear.
• Where to Find: Brands like Hanes and MeUndies offer a wide range of boxer briefs in various styles and materials.

Trunks

• Description: Similar to boxer briefs but with shorter legs, trunks offer a modern and stylish option that provides support without excess fabric.
• Where to Find: Available at Calvin Klein and Tommy John, trunks are ideal for those who prefer a less bulky feel.

Briefs

• Description: Briefs provide firm support and are available in various rises (low, mid, and high) to suit different preferences. They are a staple for those seeking classic, reliable support.
• Where to Find: Available at American Eagle and Fruit of the Loom, briefs come in various styles and materials to fit your needs.

Boxers

• Description: Boxers offer a looser fit and maximum breathability, making them suitable for casual wear and lounging.
• Where to Find: Brands like Jockey and Gap provide a wide selection of boxers in different fabrics and patterns.

Packing

Packing refers to the use of prosthetics to create a masculine bulge in the groin area. The right undergarments for packing can make a significant difference in comfort and security.

Packing Underwear

• Description: Designed with built-in pouches to hold a packer securely in place, packing underwear eliminates the need for additional harnesses or straps.
• Where to Find: Brands like RodeoH and Cake Bandit specialize in packing underwear, offering various styles to suit different needs.

Harnesses

• Description: Harnesses provide additional security for packers, especially during physical activity. They can be worn over or under regular underwear to keep the packer in place.
• Where to Find: Available at GenderGear and Early2Bed, harnesses come in various designs to accommodate different types of packers and personal preferences.

Shopping Tips and Resources

• Online Shopping: Many reputable brands offer discreet online shopping with detailed size guides and customer reviews. Sites like Amazon, Zappos, and the official brand websites of GC2B, Underworks, and others provide extensive selections.
• In-Store Shopping: For those who prefer to try before buying, stores like Target, Macy’s, and specialty shops often have knowledgeable staff who can assist with sizing and selection.
• Return Policies: Always check the return and exchange policies before purchasing, especially when shopping online. This flexibility can be crucial for finding the perfect fit without financial risk.

Choosing the right undergarments is a significant step in the transition journey for trans men. It involves understanding your body type, selecting appropriate styles, and ensuring proper sizing and fit. Prioritizing comfort and shape will enhance your confidence and overall well-being. Remember, the right undergarments can make a world of difference in how you feel and present yourself every day.

Fabric and Fit Considerations

The fabric and fit of undergarments play a crucial role in ensuring both comfort and proper support. As someone who is in the early stages of transition, it’s essential to prioritize materials and construction that accommodate your changing body while providing comfort throughout the day. Here’s an expanded look at what to consider regarding fabric and fit:

Breathability

Breathable fabrics are fundamental for maintaining comfort, especially for those who may be experiencing new body sensations due to HRT or binding. Breathable fabrics allow air to circulate, keeping the skin dry and preventing irritation and infections.

• Cotton: Cotton is a natural, breathable fabric that is soft against the skin and excellent for everyday wear. It absorbs moisture well, helping to keep you cool and comfortable. Brands like Hanes and Fruit of the Loom offer a variety of cotton undergarments that are both affordable and widely available.
• Moisture-Wicking Blends: For those who are more active or prefer additional moisture control, moisture-wicking fabrics like polyester blends can be highly effective. These fabrics draw moisture away from the skin, keeping you dry even during physical activity. Brands such as Under Armour and Nike are known for their high-performance, moisture-wicking underwear.

Stretch

Stretchable fabrics are crucial for accommodating body movements and changes, which can be particularly important for transgender individuals during their transition. These materials ensure a snug fit without being restrictive, providing comfort and flexibility.

• Spandex (Lycra): Spandex is a highly stretchable material that is often blended with other fabrics to enhance elasticity. It allows undergarments to move with your body and return to their original shape after stretching. Brands like Spanx and MeUndies incorporate spandex into their designs, offering supportive and flexible options.
• Microfiber: Microfiber is another stretchable material that is soft, smooth, and lightweight. It provides a sleek fit and is often used in seamless designs. Microfiber undergarments from brands like Calvin Klein and Tommy John offer a balance of stretch and comfort.

Seams

The construction of seams in undergarments significantly impacts comfort, particularly for those with sensitive skin or those who experience chafing. Opting for seamless designs or garments with flat seams can reduce irritation and provide a smoother silhouette under clothing.

• Seamless Designs: Seamless undergarments are made using knitting techniques that eliminate traditional seams, resulting in a smooth, irritation-free finish. These are especially useful for tight-fitting clothes where visible lines might be a concern. Brands like ThirdLove and Commando offer seamless options that are both comfortable and discreet.
• Flat Seams: When seams are necessary, flat seams are a great alternative to traditional raised seams. Flat seams lie flat against the skin, minimizing the risk of chafing and discomfort. This type of construction is common in athletic wear from brands like Lululemon and Athleta, which are designed to reduce friction during movement.

Additional Fabric Considerations

In addition to breathability, stretch, and seams, consider the following fabric features:

• Softness: For maximum comfort, especially for those with sensitive skin, look for fabrics that are known for their softness, such as modal and bamboo. These materials are gentle against the skin and often hypoallergenic. Brands like Boody and Cozy Earth offer undergarments made from bamboo, known for their luxurious feel.
• Durability: Transitioning can involve significant changes to your body, and having durable undergarments ensures they last longer and provide consistent support. Fabrics like nylon blends and high-quality cotton are known for their durability and ability to withstand frequent washing. Brands like Everlane and Pact offer durable, ethically-made options that are built to last.

Finding the Right Fit

Accurate sizing is essential for both comfort and appearance. Ill-fitting undergarments can cause discomfort, restrict movement, and even lead to skin irritation. Here are some tips for finding the right fit:

1. Measure Regularly: Your body may change during your transition, so it’s important to measure yourself regularly to ensure you’re wearing the correct size. Measure your bust, waist, hips, and chest to find the right sizes for bras, panties, and binders.
2. Try Different Styles: Different styles may fit and feel differently on your body. Don’t hesitate to try a variety of styles to see which ones provide the best comfort and support.
3. Read Reviews: Customer reviews can offer valuable insights into the fit and comfort of undergarments. Look for reviews from other transgender individuals who might share similar experiences.
4. Utilize Fitting Services: Many stores offer fitting services where professional staff can help you find the right size and style. Stores like Nordstrom and specialty lingerie shops often provide these services.

Sizing and Trying On

Accurate sizing is vital for comfort and proper fit, especially for transgender individuals in the early stages of their transition. Wearing the correct size ensures that your undergarments provide the support and shape you need without causing discomfort. Here’s a detailed guide on how to measure yourself for different types of undergarments, along with tips for trying them on to ensure a perfect fit.

Measuring for Bras (Trans Women)

Finding the right bra size is crucial for comfort and support. Here’s a step-by-step guide to measuring yourself accurately:

Band Size

Measure Under the Bust:

• Use a soft measuring tape and wrap it around your ribcage, just under your bust.
• Make sure the tape is level all the way around and snug but not tight.
• Note this measurement is in inches.

Calculate Your Band Size:

• Add 4-5 inches to your under-bust measurement.
• If the resulting number is odd, round up to the next even number. This is your band size.
• Example: If your under-bust measurement is 32 inches, adding 4 gives you 36, making your band size 36.

Bust Size

Measure the Fullest Part of Your Bust:

• With the measuring tape, wrap it around the fullest part of your bust, keeping it level and snug but not tight.
• Note this measurement is in inches.

Determine Your Cup Size:

• Subtract your band size from your bust measurement.
• The difference in inches corresponds to your cup size (1 inch = A cup, 2 inches = B cup, 3 inches = C cup, etc.).
• Example: If your band size is 36 and your bust measurement is 38, the difference is 2 inches, indicating a B cup. Your bra size would be 36B.

Tips for Trying On Bras

• Adjustable Straps and Bands: Ensure the straps and band are adjustable for a better fit.
• Comfort Check: The band should feel snug but not constrictive. You should be able to fit two fingers comfortably under the band.
• Cup Fit: The cups should fully encase your breasts without any spillage or gaps.

Common Bra Sizing Problems for Transgender Women Compared to Cisgender Women

Transitioning can bring unique challenges, particularly when it comes to finding the right bra size. Due to differences in body structure and breast development patterns, transgender women may experience a variety of problems that are distinct from those that cisgender women face. Understanding these common problems can help you navigate the bra-fitting process more effectively.

Developmental Differences

Transgender women, especially those who begin hormone replacement therapy (HRT) later in life, may have different breast development patterns compared to cisgender women. This can impact the fit and comfort of bras in several ways:

Breast Shape and Distribution:

• Cisgender Women: Typically develop a variety of breast shapes that bras are designed to accommodate.
• Transgender Women: Often experience a more conical breast shape, especially in the early stages of HRT, which can make it challenging to find bras that fit well without gaping or excess space in the cups.

Breast Tissue Density:

• Cisgender Women: Tend to have softer breast tissue due to their natural fat distribution.
• Transgender Women: May have firmer breast tissue initially, which can affect how the breast fills the bra cup and how comfortable the bra feels.

Ribcage and Chest Structure

The ribcage and chest structure of transgender women can differ significantly from those of cisgender women, impacting bra fit:

Ribcage Size:

• Cisgender Women: Generally have smaller ribcages, allowing for a snugger fit of the bra band.
• Transgender Women: Often have larger ribcages, which can make it challenging to find bras with a band that fits comfortably and securely without riding up or causing discomfort.

Shoulder Width:

• Cisgender Women: Typically have narrower shoulders, which align with standard bra strap placements.
• Transgender Women: May have broader shoulders, which can cause bra straps to dig in or slip off, requiring bras with adjustable or wider straps for better support.

Common Fit Issues

Here are some specific bra fit issues transgender women might encounter and tips to address them:

Gapping Cups:

• Problem: Cups that gape or have extra space due to less developed upper breast tissue.
• Solution: Look for bras with molded cups or lightly padded styles that can help fill out the shape. Balconette and demi-cup bras often work well for this issue.

Band Fit:

• Problem: Bands that are too tight or too loose due to larger ribcages.
• Solution: Ensure an accurate measurement of your under-bust size. Consider using bra extenders for a more comfortable fit or choosing brands that offer a wider range of band sizes.

Strap Slippage:

• Problem: Straps that slip off due to broader shoulders.
• Solution: Look for bras with adjustable straps or racerback styles that offer better support and prevent slipping.

Underwire Discomfort:

• Problem: Underwires that dig into the skin or feel uncomfortable.
• Solution: Ensure the underwire encases the entire breast without pinching. Soft cup bras or those with flexible underwires may provide a more comfortable fit.

Understanding these common fit issues and solutions can significantly improve your bra shopping experience, helping you find the perfect fit for your unique body shape. Remember, finding the right bra is a journey, and taking the time to understand your specific needs will lead to greater comfort and confidence.

Measuring for Binders (Trans Men)

Chest binders are crucial for trans men seeking a flatter chest appearance. Accurate measurements ensure both comfort and effectiveness.

Chest Measurement

Fullest Part of the Chest:

• Use a soft measuring tape and wrap it around the fullest part of your chest.
• Ensure the tape is level and snug, but not tight.
• Note this measurement is in inches.

Torso Measurement

Around the Ribcage:

• Measure around your ribcage, just below the chest.
• Keep the tape level and snug but not tight.
• Note this measurement in inches.

Tips for Choosing and Wearing Binders

• Follow Sizing Charts: Different brands may have varying size charts. Always refer to the specific brand’s sizing guide.
• Comfort Check: A properly fitted binder should feel snug but not restrict breathing. If it causes pain or discomfort, it’s too tight.
• Break-In Period: Wear your binder for short periods initially to allow your body to adjust. Gradually increase the duration as you become more comfortable.

Measuring for Panties and Underwear

Properly fitting panties and underwear ensure comfort and prevent issues like chafing and riding up. Here’s how to measure yourself:

Waist Measurement

Natural Waistline:

• Wrap a measuring tape around your natural waistline, which is usually just above your belly button.
• Keep the tape snug but not tight.
• Note this measurement is in inches.

Hip Measurement

Fullest Part of Your Hips:

• Wrap the measuring tape around the fullest part of your hips and buttocks.
• Ensure the tape is level all the way around and snug but not tight.
• Note this measurement is in inches.

Tips for Trying On Panties and Underwear

• Stretch and Fabric: Look for underwear with some stretch, such as those made with spandex or elastane, to ensure a better fit and comfort.
• Seam Placement: Choose seamless or flat-seam options to avoid irritation and chafing.
• Comfort Check: Underwear should fit snugly without being tight. They should not dig into your skin or cause discomfort.

Where to Find the Perfect Fit

Many stores and online retailers offer a wide range of options and services to help you find the perfect fit.

In-Store Fitting Services

• Nordstrom: Known for excellent customer service, Nordstrom offers bra fittings and expert advice on finding the right undergarments.
• Specialty Shops: Stores like En Femme specialize in products for transgender individuals and provide personalized fitting services.

Online Shopping Tips

• Detailed Size Charts: Look for retailers that provide detailed size charts and measuring guides.
• Customer Reviews: Read customer reviews to gauge the fit and comfort of different products.
• Return Policies: Ensure the retailer has a good return policy, allowing you to try on multiple sizes and return what doesn’t fit.

By following these guidelines, you can ensure that your undergarments provide the support and comfort you need while enhancing your natural shape. Whether shopping online or in-store, taking the time to measure accurately and try on different styles will make a significant difference in your comfort and confidence.

The Bottom Line

Choosing the right undergarments is a significant step in the transition journey for trans men and trans women. It involves understanding your body type, selecting appropriate styles, and ensuring proper sizing and fit. Prioritizing comfort and shape will enhance your confidence and overall well-being. Remember, the right undergarments can make a world of difference in how you feel and present yourself every day.